Building Life Skills 

Helping children learn important life skills is one of the most powerful ways to support their long-term independence. Many autistic children struggle with something called motor planning—this means their brain has trouble organizing the movements needed to do everyday tasks. For example, they may want to tie their shoelaces or use a spoon, but their body just doesn’t follow through. A common approach is for therapists or parents to sit next to the child and show them how to do the task, hoping the child will copy. But for many autistic children, this doesn’t work—and here’s why.

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Imitating others is actually a hard skill. It requires the child to focus on the other person’s body, copy their movements, and ignore distractions—all at the same time. For some kids, just looking at the therapist’s face, hands, or even clothes can be too much to process. That’s why we often use a method called hand-over-hand teaching. Instead of sitting beside the child, we sit behind them and gently guide their hands through the movement. This way, the child can focus only on the task in front of them, without the added pressure of figuring it out visually. Far from being restrictive, this method is essential for teaching skills to children who cannot yet imitate or follow verbal directions effectively.

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The earlier this approach is introduced, the greater the long-term benefits for the child. With consistent, structured, and developmentally informed teaching, children begin to build not only the specific functional skills needed for daily life but also broader capacities for self-regulation, task persistence, and confidence. Skill development is not merely about mastering isolated tasks—it’s about laying the groundwork for a more autonomous and participatory life. When we invest early in helping children move from dependence to competence, we reduce the need for lifelong accommodations and open the door to meaningful inclusion at home, in school, and in the wider community.